I conducted my first Twitter Party with Jessica Baggett on Wednesday, April 13, 2016. The purpose of the Twitter Party was to discuss her disabilities, her abilities, her passion, and her current work. This event is in direct correlation to my book, The New Face of Disabilities, which is about changing the mindset of those who think negatively about those who have a disability. The book details ways to work with individuals, commonly use terminology, employment data, and resources to getting individuals assistance in going to work. These individuals are able, willing, and more than ready to be integrated within society. Support them and their efforts to be successful.
Do you think determining who will be
successful in life is as easy as looking at a newborn baby and seeing a certain
gleam in his/her eye?Let’s all take a
mental field trip to the maternity ward at a hospital and suggest who we think
will be successful in life.What do you
think our probability of success will be?What do you think our probability of failure will be?
Many notable people, such as Plato, Aristotle,
Machiavelli, and St. Paul, have tried to determine what makes
some people more successful than others.Take for example:
I believe that a person’s ability to
understand and apply the lessons they have learned will make them very
successful.Many times, we are provided
with lessons that we must understand on our own.Sometimes, we will see the same thing others
see, but detract different lessons from what we saw.This does not make any of our assumptions incorrect.It just provides many perspectives on what
has taken place.
The progression toward helping someone
become successful should start at a very young age.I would say as early as two years old.Children start picking up on things around this
age.Now, helping them become successful
does not mean to live your childhood dreams through them.Helping them become successful just means to
find out things that they really like to do and help them reach their
goals.Take my nieces for example.These young ladies are nine and eleven years
old.The nine year old would like to
become an actress and the eleven year old would like to become a professional
dancer.My family believes in
encouraging them and providing them with the necessary tools to help their
dreams come true.Encouragement is done
by conversations, participating in like events, and my latest gift to them: a
vision board.Recently, I gave them a vision
board with the task of decorating the board and placing their dreams and
aspirations on it.I told them to place
the board somewhere that they will see it every day, so they can start living
in their passion.The nine year old
asked me for some ideas to help her make a vision board.I gave her another task, which will help her
on the road to success: I told her to look up some ideas on the computer.I truly believe that success comes with self-direction
and should be started at an early age.My mother did the same thing with me.When I was around 10 years old and wanted to know what a word meant, she
told me to look it up.This is the very
reason why I continue to research questions that I may have about life, words,
and human interactions.
Success is truly determined by the
individual by setting goals.A good way
to do this is to attach a time line to your goals.Tell yourself, I want to sign up for dancing
or acting classes by the time I am 16 years old or I want to have authored five
books by the time I am 30.The timeline
will allow you to focus on what you need to do and when you need to do it.
~Don’t let people determine whether or not
you will be successful.Start defining
your own opportunity.
About five years ago, I was at the age that I started to reflect on my life and my accomplishments. You know that age where you start putting your life into perspective and start identifying whether or not you are reaching the goals you set for yourself? The age that I state usually occurs at age 25. Well, that was my exact age. My thoughts focused on obtaining a Master’s Degree, writing, performing poetry, and publishing a couple of books. I ultimately knew that when I set my sites on accomplishing things, they definitely would come true because I was dedicated to my purpose and succeeding. Even if my projected timeline was not accurate, I made sure to adjust the time I allowed myself to complete a particular goal. A good example of this is when I completed my graduate degree. Initially, I gave myself two years to complete the program. After adding certificates to my degree and making the necessary changes for me to be successful, I had to readjust the completion time to four years, instead of two.
My overall objective for my life was to complete my graduate program, publish two books, and make my name a household name by the time I was 30 years old. Well, how do you think I am doing? All I can say is I have made strategic strides for myself in accomplishing my goals. I obtained my Master’s at 29, attended and participated in numerous book festivals and events, rekindled my creative ability to design and interpret things, and will have published four books by the time I reach 30. The books in which I have published deals with relationships and domestic violence, poetry, and a children’s book. All of which are interests of mine.
So, what can I say to you about being successful and reaching your goals? You have to give life your all. Success never comes to those who wait for it. Success comes to those who work hard, are patient, and knows what defeat feels like. Sometime in life, we have all felt the feeling of being defeated at something we loved to do or wanted to learn to do. Do you think the Michael Jordan gave up when he shot an air ball? How about Tyler Perry? Do you think he gave up when he was homeless and living in his car? Not at all! Michael and Tyler let the feeling of defeat serve as a lesson to not feel that way again. And if they did happen to feel that way again, they knew just what to do to change their circumstances. That is exactly what I want you to do. I want you to not let defeat keep you positioned on the ground. I want you to get up, look defeat in the face, and say no more.
The truth to following steps in being successful is that we all define our own steps. Life is different for everyone, so one thing that worked for one person may very well work or not work for another person. It is ok to repeat what has been done before; however when all else fail, go with what you know or what feels right.
~Start defining your own success and opportunities
When dealing with some people, it can be like talking to a wall. You have to position yourself to “knock down that wall,”as my sorors would say. Success is not going to be easy. On many occasions, you will have to deal with negative attitudes and influences. Just tell yourself, “I am better than the negativity that is being shackled around my ankles. I will not be subdued to these experiences and consequences of them. I will be more than the negative attitude of others.”
Negative attitudes can be disturbing; especially if they are due to the person not liking the positivity and glow that you exude. Some people will try and transfer their negative energy to you by diminishing your character. This will come in the form of nasty stares, verbal and physical attacks, complaining, and/or talking about others. This may be the only way they know how to be happy; however do not give in to it. Happiness should never come at the expense of others.
The following five steps will assist you with riding the negativity from your life:
1. Learn how to use negative and positive energy to benefit you. It will be hard at first; however it becomes constant with experience.
2. Find ways to take yourself away from negative environments. People may think you are being distant; however learning to deal with your emotions is more important than the views forced on you by others.
3. Cut those ties that try to drain the life from out of you. There’s nothing like those who see the positivity that’s occurring in your life and try to latch on. It’s ok to provide them with encouragement; however when encouragement turns into you doing more than they are willing to do, it’s time for a change. Let them go through their own experiences because not everyone was meant to walk the same path.
4. Network with supportive people who are willing to listen to you. In life, we all have at least one person who will listen without judging, hear without speaking, and see without assuming. These people are great to talk with because they allow you to hear your own questions and possibly answer them with the information you provided to them.
5. Knowing yourself is the last step. Spend time with yourself to understand your likes, dislikes, things you consider negative, and things you consider positive. Sometimes people will present you with strategies to rid yourself of certain situations; however if you lack understanding of yourself, you will not able to know whether or not the strategy works for you. As stated early, not everyone was meant to walk the same path. Knowing yourself would give you a clear understanding of your path and whether or not the walk was meant to be taken.
I hope these strategies assist you in your journey of riding the negativity from your life. To be perfectly honest, I still use these strategies to make my life less stressful and more plentiful. Now, it’s your turn to practice some of these strategies and see how life, minus negativity can be.
