Why Do People Cheat?

As the amount of marriages decline, we have to ask ourselves a question, “can this be attributed to cheating?”  Many people I have spoken with have various opinions to what they constitute cheating as; however can agree to one thing and that is their dislike of being cheated on.

Cheating is an act that makes some people upset, angry, confused, and insecure.  It can make significant others and lovers do things that they never thought they would do, such as: Hiding in the bushes, confronting friends, becoming confrontational, and acting out of character.  Who really has time to act in this manner?  Apparently some people do because these are still some of the current reactions to cheating. 

In trying to understand why people cheat, we have to understand the person and the environment he or she had been raised.  You have some men and women who were exposed to cheating at a very young age.  They saw their mother or father interact inappropriately with other people or they were told certain things about the other gender.  An example of this is of a father telling his young son that he should not allow any one girl to entrap his heart, like his mother did to his father.  He tells his son to date many girls and have many relationships while he is still young enough to do it.  The son receiving the advice may think he only has two options, which are to stay single for the rest of his life and live a glorious bachelor’s life or to get married to someone who he will sooner or later dip out on (cheat on).    

Another reason someone cheats is because he or she is looking for something else.  How many times have you ordered lunch at a restaurant, but really wanted something else instead?  Well, some people choose to keep the dish they have because with the right spices, anything is possible.  Others chose to eat the dish they ordered and then pick up a dish on the way home to make up for what the first dish lacked.  People deem this as “having your cake and eating it too.”   This type of individual likes variety, which means he or she can enjoy having the intellectual conversation with one individual, while having loads of fun with another individual.  He or she also may like having the financial stability that a lawyer can provide, while living dangerously with his stripper girlfriend or her biker boyfriend.  This more or less is a learned trait that could have been brought on by conversations with friends, watching movies, or wanting to experience life.  This individual may be of a younger age and easily influenced by others, but ages vary nowadays. 

What about those individuals that have become so accustomed to cheating that it is like wearing shorts and a tank top in the summertime?  To them, cheating or stepping out on their partner is a given.  They would not see it any other way.  These individuals include, but are not limited to the star football player on a well-known high school team, the promiscuous sorority girl on campus, or even the family-oriented minister.  Cheating is often the result of a dilemma which can be brought on by someone who has done it numerous times or someone who is looking for an outlet to some type of hurt that he or she has experienced.  The challenging part of cheating is the portion that deals with being faithful to the one you love.    

A few comments that I have heard from males about cheating is that their girlfriend or wife has let herself go, meaning that she gained weight, does not cook or clean anyone, or has changed.  It seems to me that sometimes, it is not only the woman who has let go of herself, but the man as well.  Isn’t that what love is about?  Letting go and being comfortable around the individual you love?  If we as people have to worry about not letting go, is it even worth the sacrifice?  Some comments that I have heard from females about cheating is that they are looking for more in a mate.  They are unhappy with their conditions because they feel as though they are not being appreciated or respected.  Have you heard of the saying that “when you first meet someone, you are meeting their representative?”  You are not meeting the true person because the person is trying to impress you in some way, shape, or form.  I actually call it lying because it is not your true self and you are impressing people with a fake persona.  Doing this could possibly lead to being dumped, cheated on, and maybe even a healthy relationship once you and your significant other have exposed the truth.    

So I conclude with stating that the decline in marriages could be attributed to cheating; however more research would have to take place in order to correlate those two variables.  As a population within an environment increases its knowledge of current problems and issues, it also increases awareness to create tactics to eliminate those situations.  One tactic is having an open conversation where both parties can be totally honest with each other.  Another tactic is helping the person who has cheated with working out certain issues or concerns that he or she may have with the other gender.  There certainly are many other tactics that may be helpful in understanding this issue.  Start this journey to understanding by being open-minded, receptive, and willing to forgive.