What a Girl Wants: What a Girl Needs!

Understanding the female perspective is really not as hard as some have deemed it to be.  Listening to her, as she listens to you, is the key componet to understanding her.  Listening entails allowing her time to talk, rephrasing what was stated, making eye contact, and showing some sign of understanding to the discussion.  Now, there are going to be times times that you don't understand what she is talking about.  This is when you should tell her that you don't understand.  I know she will appreciate your honesty.  Below, I will review some things that women want and what they need.  Please note that not all women want the same things.  This list was compiled from my conversations with men and women over the past three years.

Honesty is one of the ingredients for any successful relationship, friendship, partnership, or any other type of communicative effort.  It makes the person feel valued and worthy of such a relationship.  In the past, some male acquaintances have told me in open dialogue that "women cannot handle the truth."  Well, I'm here to say that women can handle the truth because the truth is much better than a lie.  The truth may hurt in the beginning, but a lie will hurt even worse.  So if you have something you need to get off of your chest, tell her.

Entering and maintaining relationships with someone who is goal-oriented and attempts their goals is a must.   Recently, I was among a group of male friends who have always been upfront with me about their feelings and the differences between men and women.  The group of men, who were high school and/or college educated, agreed to the same thing; women want more for their lives than men and that men are content with their current lives.  This statement seemed to be true because a friend of mine recently disclosed information to me about wanting her boyfriend to be more goal-oriented and want more for his life.  I honestly believe that wanting more out of your life really depends on the person because I have been around men that have wanted more out of their lives than some women did.  If the woman finds the scenario above to be true in her case, she and her significant should discuss if the relationship is worth pursuing.  The relationship may work for some; however not work for others.

Have you ever been in love with someone and the feelings just were not reciprocated?  I am sure a number of us have felt this way either this month, last month, or the last couple of years ago.  In my evaluations and discussions with men and women, I have noticed that women tend to fall for a guy in the beginning of a relationship.  She sometimes gives her all in the beginning because anything less would be uncanny.  In comparison with women, men tend to take longer to divulge his feelings to a women.  In this type of situation, I say that each individual has to give a little.  The man may tell the women to be patient; however he too should learn how to disclose some of his feelings earlier on, so it is a win-win situation.   

Women need to be in a relationship with no double standards.  How many of you men can honestly say that you did not want your woman hanging around male friends; however it was ok for you to hang around female friends?  Do you honestly think that was fair?  Some of my male friends told me that they like it that way because they know how men are and some women are naive.  Could the same be said for women and could some men be naive?  I would say the same goes for both men and women.  We are all tempted by some of the same things and react in a similar way.  A good dose of trust is needed in this situation.

The last thing that women need is time to focus on her.  Women like to be pampered, spoiled, and thought highly of.  Why not take her on an all expense paid trip to Montego Bay?  Ok, I may be pushing the enevelop a bit, but if you can afford it, why not?  If you can't, then take her out to dinner and to a movie.  Let her relax without having to pick up the tab.  Let her have quiet time for her thoughts and be able to focus solely on herself.  Take her shopping or to one of her favorite places.  You will know exactly where to take her because you have invested enough time in her to know these things.