All in Together Girls: Welcome

All in Together Girls: Welcome: Hampton Publishing House, LLC would like to welcome Jaye Whaley and Shay Butler to the company.  These two new authors have teamed up with M...

Go Hard or Go Home!

 Picture found at RevGalBlogPals

 

Have you ever heard of the statement, “Go hard or go home?” The statement refers to giving something your all or going back to the starting point; home.  Home is where everything starts.  It is the foundation of success or the continuance of failure.  It is the place where people are well protected against harm, chaos, and sometimes growth. When I think of home, I think of a place where you can be open and honest, where mom or dad tends to the needs of their children, and where you still have a place to stay if you need the extra support. While that sounds like a great option if you need it, we all know that sometimes going home can be more of a hindrance than anything else. Home can protect you too much where your decisions are made by others or your regular duties or chores of done by others. This fact makes it harder to leave home again in pursuit for more than has already been established. Please know that this does not happen in all house settings; however there is a great possibility that your growth may become stagnant by returning home. Returning home temporarily is always ok.  It is the permanent visits that could be a make or break our dreams.

 

So, what options do we really have?  We have two options in life, as the title of this work suggests: Go hard or go home.  We can return to the place where it all started or we can continue to learn, continue to grow, and go for the goal.  Who really wants to go home?  I know I don’t.  I don’t want to return to a place that I spent so long trying to leave. Now, I don’t regret where I came from because I am actually glad that I grew up in the household that I did; I was taught to be respectful to others, do things for myself, be family oriented, and research information on my own.  Home laid the ground work for my beliefs, how I treat people, and how I respond to situations. Once the ground work was laid, I was at a standstill; I had learned everything that I needed to learn at home, now I was ready to be released out into the world and continue my journey toward life and growth. Home made me who I am today, but the world is helping to develop what I will be tomorrow.

 

I want to end by saying that many people are given the same opportunities in life: We are born, make life decisions, and live life based on our decisions.  The decisions we make as children have the ability in affecting the rest of our lives.  Start making your decisions count today by choosing to go hard.

Arts Impact Middle School Remembers 9/11

Picture found at Columbus.K12.OH.US

On September 11, 2012, I performed my poem, “This is Temporary” in front of the students at Arts Impact Middle School. The school’s music teacher had planned the event to remember the tragedy of September 11^th and to honor current and previous members of the military. With much enthusiam, the students openly applauded the speakers, performers, and all those taking part in the event.  It was amazing! I felt positive energy flowing through the audience as I looked at the young potential singers, dancers, poets, public speakers, and even lawyers. I looked in the audience and saw myself in them because I once sat where they sat, thought what they thought, and did what they did.  They were a reflection of my past; a reflection of what use to be.

Thank you Arts Impact Middle School (A.I.M.S) for making my day and being so ready to receive me!  You made my day.

"So Fly" by Elle Varner

 

“I can’t help bein’ depressed 
When I look down at my chest

Oh yes my chest it might as well be non-existent 

How can I ever compete

With 34 DDs

And I’m rolling my eyes

When I look down at my thighs

They might as well take everything that I eat

To my legs”

 

Elle Varner sings this catch tune about being insecure with her body type.  She even goes as far as saying that if she was minus the “cellulite with big breast and pockets full of money, she would be so fly.”  After those comments and looking at a few of Elle Varner’s pictures, you can’t help but wonder where all of this is coming from.  Well as teenagers and young adults, many of us have imagined the same thoughts, spoke the same words, and believed the same fallacies.  If only we could pick and choose our body type, hand select our facial features, and look in the mirror and see a beautiful young woman or man standing before us.

 

Elle continues the song by saying:

 

“Now listen

I got a beautiful soul

But only four people know

They’ve known me since I was ten

Beauty did not matter then

Now in my 20s

All that matters

Is sex, cars, and money

I ain’t got none of the three

So basically I’m invisible to all of the fellas”

 

I viewed the second portion of the song as Elle still being concerned with what others thought beauty should be and living by the defined standards of society.  The defined standards of society does not always lead to a continued path down the same road, sometimes people follow that road in order to define their own standards.  Elle shows exactly this in the next portion of the song, which states:

 

“So basically all I need

Is to be everything but me

Colored contacts

Liposuction

And some Implants

Somehow that don’t make much sense

I must be out of my head

If I think

That I am governed by material things”

 

In the last portion of the song, Elle defines her own definition of fly and states “don’t go believin’ the hype.  There’s no runway in the sky.  And no way you can be fly.  Not if it costs you a dime.”  I absolutely love this song.  I liked the way it transitioned to from I'm not fly to I'm going to create my own definition of fly. 

 

~Have you had your dose of "So Fly" today?

 

 

  

 
 
 
 

Funny Things People Say While on Vacation

So recently, my mother and I visited Montgomery, Alabama.  In traveling to Alabama and while there visiting, there were few funny comments made.  Below, you will find four comments made during the trip, which I found funny or cute:   

Mother to TSA Agent about security check: This is like a strip search.
TSA Agent's response:  You still have your clothes on don't you?

Little boy in airport to his mother: Why do I always have to go in the girls' restroom?

Cousin's response to friend fixing dinner upon her visit: I then struck gold

Cousin's comment to her father:  Dad, they have an accent.  I want one.

The first and the last comments were the ones that really had me going.  When people make these type of comments, you have to ask yourself, where do they come up with this stuff from?

Is Being the Youngest of the Family Getting in the Way of How People Perceive You?

If I had the opportunity of gaining a dollar every time someone stated, “I can’t stand the youngest of the family,” I would probably be paid nothing less than $1,000.  As an adolescent, I definitely heard that statement more than I could count.  The difference between now and then is that now I am aware that emotions tend to play an important role in these comments, which makes you think that there has to be some truth to the matter.  In order for us to address this concern, we have to be open and honest with ourselves and each other.  I want you to take the next few moments and ask yourself these questions: Am I the youngest of the family or do I have a younger sibling?  Am I or my sibling treated a certain way by my family?  Is there a difference in treatment of my siblings and myself?  After you have contemplated those questions for a while, I want you to think about your answers as we progress through this article.

Recently, I was told by a co-worker that she could not believe that I was the youngest of my siblings.  She told me that I did not act as a typical younger sibling.  I immediately thought “people’s opinions of  the younger sibling must be universal.  Why is this?  And what was the particular way that younger siblings acted?”  I ultimately knew the answers to my own questions because I had dealt with them earlier on in life. 

You have to know that being the youngest of the family is not an easy job because people do perceive the youngest to act in a certain manner.  Honestly, it’s not like “The baby of the family” wakes up each morning and say “I’m going to act in a manner to distinguish myself as the younger sibling of the family.”  Sometimes our actions are attention seeking.  We were the last of mom and dad’s kids, so we sometimes seek attention because we were use to having the spotlight.  It can also be said that some of us had no immediate responsibilities to take care of, such as taking care of a younger sibling, being the bigger brother or sister, or anything else that came with protecting someone we loved.  While older brothers and sisters learned this incredible skill early on, younger siblings had to find other ways to gain the skill. 

At times, our understanding of the statement “The world doesn’t revolve around you,” does not really hit home until we are older adults.  This is sad, but often true.  Take reality star, Tamar Braxton for example.  She is the youngest of six children born to Evelyn Braxton and Michael Braxton, Sr.  As the show displays, Tamar can be a little domineering at times.  In previous episodes, her personality rubbed her sisters the wrong way because of her comments and actions.  Although some of Tamar’s actions and comments were irrational, I could definitely relate to her.  I could relate to her emotionality, her feeling of having to always defend herself from her older siblings, and being misunderstood.  See, previously I was the same way.  I remember in my early twenties, I often felt misunderstood.  I had sisters, but no one to talk to.  A mouth, but no one to hear me.  A purpose, but no one to understand me.  I felt as though I was all alone with no one to take up for me when accusations were made against me.  Who would stand by me and show me that it would be ok?  Me, that’s who! 

Finally in my late twenties, I started to live for myself and no one else.  This is when many doors opened up to me in the form of relationships, friendships, and a feeling inside of me that it was ok to be me.  I felt more comfortable in myself, doubted myself less, and knew where I was going.  I honestly believe that when I found comfort in myself, others started to see the same comfort that radiated inside of me.  It was like my hands had been unbound, feet unshackled, and mind liberated.  See, I was a hostage within my own home because like my co-worker who believed the youngest sibling acted in a particular way, I believed I was treated in a particular way.  That notion is what kept me from progressing toward my purpose.  I can say that I longer feel that way because I do not want to be in the business of making thoughts reality.  I conclude by saying that as a child, I was spoiled and a bit selfish.  Do you think if I was presented with the opportunity to change who I was as a child, I would do it?  Not at all!  I truly believe that we all go through certain things in life because we are being prepared to embark upon like experiences.  My knowledge of my past choices and activities could very well help shape someone else’s life.  While I am unable to change my sisters’ previous thoughts about me, I am able to change their future thoughts.  We definitely have much better relationships than when I was younger, which I attribute to the shift in understanding each other as we grew up and became women.  We now have experienced life a little bit more and have something to share with each other.  I must say that I love these women!

~ I choose the liberated and often conscious mind

Watch "So Addictive" Performed at Otterbein University

http://www.facebook.com/Otterbeinlibrary

Alumni Author of the Month at Otterbein University

Good evening everyone.  I wanted to share this joyous occassion with you.  I am currently the Alumni Author of the Month at Otterbein University.  Please make sure you stop by the school and check it out.  I am planning on visiting the site very soon.  Be check to keep update on when I will be there.  Check out more information on the facebook page for Otterbein Courtright Memorial Library.

What a Man Wants? What a Man Needs?

What do men really want in a woman?  Well, the verdict is in and ready to be discussed.  In a recent focus group, I met with men between the ages of 30 to 40 years of age.  These men stated that they were looking for someone they call a “Real Woman.”  Ms. Real Woman is smart, can engage in various intellectual conversations, listens, cares about her significant other, and most of all, she acts like a woman. 

Men stress the importance of relationships being give and take and their need of being treated like a king.  Men are willing to give to the relationship; however giving has to be reciprocated from the woman.  A close friend of mine once told me that “Women want to be treated like queens; however in the same instance, they have to be willing to treat their boyfriends or husbands like kings.  It’s only fair.”  Men definitely want equality in the relationship and at the same time the opportunity to take his place as being the protector of the family.  They believe that each sex plays a vital role in the family, whether it is being a protector or the rock of the family.

Finding Ms. Right for men has not been easy because they face the same struggles that women face when looking for Mr. Right.  One individual told me that “I don’t care about my mate being pretty; I care more about her inner beauty, intelligence, and our connection.”  Men also stressed that there’s no one person that was made for them.  They stated that if a woman has some of the qualities they want, they are willing to put more interest in her by helping her develop various skills to make her Mrs. Wife. 

Men want the same things in life that women want, such as the American Dream.  The American Dream consists of having a family, home, job, and other necessities to make life much better.  One friend told me that “No one wants to be alone for the rest of his or her life.  Everyone generally arrives at a stage in life when they need and or want to have a partner.”  I was also told that men and women are constantly looking toward the future and want various pleasures in life that consists of: Marriage, children, and a stable household.     

In conclusion, men want women to listen, be patient, relinquish some of the power and control, and have intellectual conversations.  Is that too much to ask for?  Not at all.  Do you agree?

Broken Dreams and Lessons

Broken dreams
Tattered souls
Reflection in eyes
Of hardship untold

Long days and nights

Ease the pain
Relieves the stress
From the often insane

Things have to get better

They can’t get any worse
I put the worse aside
And tucked it in my purse

See worse use to challenge me

And hit me when I was down
It even grabbed a Louieville Slugger
And beat my head straight to the ground

I finally said no more

And pleasantly got up
Because I truly knew
When enough was enough

See repeating a lesson

I don’t have that to do
Learning from the lesson
Was what I have to do

Now, you can go through life

Keeping doing the same thing
But when you learn the lesson
Is when you ears will ring

More opportunities will be waiting

For you to continue your stride
Just know where you’re going
And when to get off the ride!